I can hardly believe that I have lived in Minnesota for 7 months now! In some ways, it seems I have been here so much longer than 7 months, and in other ways, I feel like I just arrived! One thing I know for sure, it has been both challenging and also an amazing journey. As I suspected, I have been challenged in far more ways than I could have imagined! And looking back, I feel like I have come a long way, yet still have a ways to go.
I would say the hardest thing about moving back to Minnesota is being willing to put myself in uncomfortable social situations in order to meet new people and make friends. About a month after I moved here, I was complaining about how I felt I had no friends or anything to do besides work. I think deep down I figured it would change, but I just didn't feel like waiting around to see what happened. I wanted to re-pack (well, I probably wasn't totally unpacked) and move right back to CA.
In an effort to help me see the light at the end of the tunnel and put an end to my pity party, my dad gave me some good advise (which, if you know him, that is no surprise; he is full of good advise and wisdom); he told me to not wait around for things to happen but to make it happen for myself. When I want to hang out, call someone I had just met. If I get invited somewhere, go! even if I knew I'd feel out of place. If someone invited me for coffee, ask if I could bring another new friend along.
As hard as it was, I tried to do just that. I failed at times but I tried. And I still try. And I still fail at times. Sometimes, it is so hard to make myself go to a place to hang out when I don't know many people. But I have gotten to meet some really cool people through being involved in different things. My heart still aches to see all my CA friends, yet I am overwhelmed at how awesome my new friends are!
I guess what I am trying to say is that I have learned that you kind of have to make life happen and be intentional about it. That means going out and socializing (with your closest friends or fun aquaintences), finding a new hobby, take a weekend trip to see friends/family in another state, joining a sports team, running errands, or even intentionally taking an evening for yourself to sit on the couch and watch the new season of 24 (which has been amazing so far) with a little Ceasars Pizza ($5 woohoo)!!!
Through this journey, I feel like I have learned a little more about who I am. And not only that, but to be more comfortable with who I am, too. This is me. Some people may like it and others won't and that is ok. Realistically, you can't be BFFs with everyone; that would be too overwhelming (and can you imagine the bridal parties?!). Seriously!
So that is just a little bit of what I've reflected on recently.
I feel like I can't publish this post without mentioning that it is -31 (negative 31) degrees here in the twin cities tonight - And, up north where my parents live is even colder!!
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8 comments:
I am so on my way to get a Little Ceasar's pizza right now mmmmm! Oh my gosh Jess I am so proud of you (not in a motherly way, sounds funny but....) You were so shy when I first met you and always kinda kept to those you knew well and were stand offish to others. I just saw you a week ago and you've blossomed so much (love that word, blossomed) You have this glow about you, like a light bulb above your head in the old cartoons but not cause you have a good idea but because you shine and light up the room. I cant tell you how happy I am that you are making good friends and doing fun things and playing fun MN sports. I admire you in so many ways. I love you Jess, but dont ever forget who your #1 BFF is......Im serious!
good job jess! it's hard to go out of your comfort zone and meet new people. when i first moved to kc my only friend was ben's sister for probably the first year because i didn't go and meet other people. but i guess when you have a husband and a pregnant belly to drag with you it's a little different! but anyway.. very proud of you. that's great that you can still go visit your old friends in ca too!
hope you stay warm today. it's cold here today too. 0 with a -13 wind chill. but i suppose that'd be like a heat wave to you guys! :-)
I went through a similiar process when I broke up with "L" 13 years ago living in Seattle I had no friends (except work friends because we were home-bodies). I had NO family support, etc. I was extremely isolated. It pained me to put myself out there and develop a life of my own. Like you, I MADE myself go places and do things. Slowly, not over-night, my life became joyful and I felt really confident. (confident enough to attract the greatest person in all-the-land!) I had no idea of the wonderful life to come!
I'm glad you are finding your way. As always, I am soooo proud of you.
A. Lori
PS
I vote you "Blogger-of-the-year". Your posts are insightful, funny, interesting, and fun.
Keep it up!
-A Lori
A. Lori: I am flattered that you'd vote me blogger-of-the-year although i am not sure I deserve that lofty award! =)
Thanks for sharing =)
Erin: I can see how being pregnant would not exactly motivate you to get out on the town and party it up in KC! hehe
Rach, Friend: I'll never forget =)
It was -48 in Fargo/Moorhead. Yet class was still in session :(
-Greg
I can completely relate to you, Jess. I have had to put myself out there since moving to Roseville. It doesn't happen over night, but it does happen. Good for you for getting out there :) Sounds like things are going well...(except the bitterly cold weather...ick) I didn't realize people survived in that cold of weather!! LOL
Jess: "I'm not gonna lie Greg, clearly your classes should have been cancelled!"
Greg: "I know! Right?"
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