This is a blog post that's a long time coming. Like, I've been pondering this issue for months, possibly years. And recently (last week), I was in a 3- day "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" seminar at work and it's what inspired me to actually sit down and write this. This is also kind of "soap box" type stuff for me.
I am having trouble even narrowing down the topic (as I am typing right now, I don't have a blog title yet). So I will see if I can dig right in. (ok I just typed a bunch and deleted it all haha).
Crabby People.
Crabby people bug me. Crabby strangers bug me - you know, rude cashiers, a customer service rep whose job is to the answer the phone but with each "hello" she makes it very clear that she has better things to do, the crabby lady in Walmart (I am clearly just imagining this one since I don't shop there) with extremely poor hygiene, in dirty stretch pants, wearing all of her 4,000 McDonald's meals on her hips, yelling at her 5 "no shirt, no shoes" kids under 5 for simply being kids.... people like that bug me. But while crabby strangers bug me, crabby non-strangers bug me even more.
When I was in jr. high and high school, my crabbiness peeked. I hated going to school: some days my friends liked me; some days they didn't. I was really insecure (who wouldn't be after being told someone thought they have gained weight and had the bushiest eyebrows??). I had no plans for after high school. And worst of all, I had to get up every morning for school. I hated (and still do) getting up in the mornings.
One morning, just like every day that preceeded it, I was stumbling from my bedroom to the bathroom, probably running late, and probably assuming that everyone should clear out of the bathroom because I only had 5 minutes till we walked out there door (this is a great example of the old saying, "A lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute and emergency on my part," except at the time, I thought my lack of planning should have constituted an emergency bathroom evacuation on my family's part). Anyway, just like every morning, my dad said "good morning" to me, to which I responded "_____" <-- nothing.
My dad had had it; and rightly so. He told me that I had no business being so crabby at everyone in the family all the time. And he was right. I was choosing to be crabby... every day. I hated school, I hated getting up, I hated being a jr. high and then high school girl and all the drama and insecurites that went along with it. But that didn't give me any right to be crabby with my family. And with those I love.
I get very annoyed when family or friends are crabby. I know that life can be rough. I get that you are annoyed because your husband is being a turd today, or because work is overwhelming, or because your kid didn't do the dishes for the 3rd day in a row. I get it. But why, oh why, must you take it out on ME? Why, when we have a bad day at home do we have to be b!tchy to our friends at work? And why, when we have a bad day at work, do we have to be b!tchy to those at home? I hate walking up to someone who was all cheery yesterday and getting the cold shoulder - the "I really wish you hadn't just walked up to me" look -with not even a little effort to be cordial.
I am NOT saying you can't be annoyed or crabby. And clearly this doesn't apply to tragedy. But if you are choosing to remain crabby about "insert situation that made you crabby here but has nothing to do with those who you are with now," and you don't want to talk about it, then do those around you a favor when they try to interact with you and get a cold shoulder: 1) tell them you are crabby but it's not at them and 2) go somewhere else till you de-crabify.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Meet Abby
* Abigail Elizabeth Clark *
* 7 lbs 2.5 oz *
* 21 inches *
* Beautiful *
Abby is clearly already a Clark as illustrated by these pics:
A napper....
A Chargers fan...
A thinker....
And an intelligent look in her eye...
Welcome to the Family, Abby!!!
*To give credit where credit is due, Tiff's friend Katie took these pics- see more of her pics at: http://katisimmonsphotography.blogspot.com/
Saturday, March 20, 2010
The Best Feeling Ever
I want to know what your some of your most favorite feelings ever are!
I am not talking about emotional feelings and I am not talking about the obvious ones -let's assume getting hugs and kisses from your kids, hearing "I love you" from those you care about, winning money, and well, anything that happens in the bedroom with your significant other, are all some common favs so let's skip the obvious ones.
I will go first.
One of my favorite feelings is a long, hot shower after not showering for a few days (you know, like after camping or something).
And another... brushing my teeth after not being able to for the whole day. Oh and going to sleep knowing that I don't have to set an alarm!
Ok... your turn...
I am not talking about emotional feelings and I am not talking about the obvious ones -let's assume getting hugs and kisses from your kids, hearing "I love you" from those you care about, winning money, and well, anything that happens in the bedroom with your significant other, are all some common favs so let's skip the obvious ones.
I will go first.
One of my favorite feelings is a long, hot shower after not showering for a few days (you know, like after camping or something).
And another... brushing my teeth after not being able to for the whole day. Oh and going to sleep knowing that I don't have to set an alarm!
Ok... your turn...
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Mexican Meatloaf
If you are looking for a spicy, yummy twist to your boring meatloaf, I have a solution for you: Mexican Meatloaf.
Ingredients:
- Cooking Spray
- 1/2 lb extra lean ground beef
- 1/2 lb lean ground turkey
- 2 large egg whites
- 1 cup cornbread stuffing dry mix (ie: Cornbread Stove Top Stuffing)
- 1 medium chopped onion (pick your favorite color)
- 1/2 tsp chili powder
- 1/4 tsp cumin
- 4 oz green chili peppers, diced
- 8oz canned enchilada sauce
Instructions:
Ingredients:
- Cooking Spray
- 1/2 lb extra lean ground beef
- 1/2 lb lean ground turkey
- 2 large egg whites
- 1 cup cornbread stuffing dry mix (ie: Cornbread Stove Top Stuffing)
- 1 medium chopped onion (pick your favorite color)
- 1/2 tsp chili powder
- 1/4 tsp cumin
- 4 oz green chili peppers, diced
- 8oz canned enchilada sauce
Instructions:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Coat a broiler pan with cooking spray. In a large bowl, mix beef, turkey, egg whites, stuffing mix, onion, chili powder, cumin, chilies, and half of enchilada sauce together. Shape into an oval with your hands and place on prepared boiler pan. Cook for 1 hour. Top with remaining enchilada sauce and bake for 5 more minutes. Slice into 6 pieces and serve.
For those of you on Weight Watchers, each serving is 3 points (6 servings per meatloaf).
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I'm A Loser
And so are my dad and 3 brothers (mom and Tiff are turds b/c they never have weight problems).
After 3 of the 4 siblings had separate discussions with our parents about our desire to lose a few pounds that creeped up on us this winter, my dad suggested having a "Clark Family Weight Loss Challenge" so that we could encourage and motivate each other. Let's face it, no one likes to face the challenges of losing weight alone.
So, my dad sent us "kids" an email with the terms and conditions. I won't get into the details of "incentives" (other than the obvious weight loss incentive) of the terms and conditions, but if any of you know my dad, you will know there are always terms and conditions when it comes to making a deal with my dad :)
Our challenge goes from February 22- May 22. We all reported our starting weight to my dad as well as our goal weight. He sent us back what our target weight loss percent is and an excel spreadsheet chart that we can use to track our weight loss each week. Each Monday we report our weight loss to my dad and he sends the results to all of us so that we all know how everyone is doing.
I am not sure about brother 2 and 3, but brother 1, dad, and I are using the weight watchers (WW) program. I find that, for me, this provides the structure I need while allowing flexibility of food choices. I can follow this plan and not feel deprived or like I am dieting. Well, maybe it feels a little like dieting but not as bad as having to follow a plan where I am sent a processed meal to eat 3 times a day.
Not only do I have the support of my family and friends, I also have a few co-workers going to the WW meetings with me on our Monday lunch breaks. And a few others from work are trying to get healthy by following various programs. Needless to say, I am surrounded by encouragement and motivation!
So this first week, I lost 4.6 lbs. This is pretty typical for the first week. Your body goes into shock and you typically lose a lot the first week. Next week I am not as optimistic but as long as the number on the scale keeps getting smaller I will be happy!
In case anyone is wondering or concerned, my reasons for wanting to do this is simply to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I'm doing this for me; no one else.
After 3 of the 4 siblings had separate discussions with our parents about our desire to lose a few pounds that creeped up on us this winter, my dad suggested having a "Clark Family Weight Loss Challenge" so that we could encourage and motivate each other. Let's face it, no one likes to face the challenges of losing weight alone.
So, my dad sent us "kids" an email with the terms and conditions. I won't get into the details of "incentives" (other than the obvious weight loss incentive) of the terms and conditions, but if any of you know my dad, you will know there are always terms and conditions when it comes to making a deal with my dad :)
Our challenge goes from February 22- May 22. We all reported our starting weight to my dad as well as our goal weight. He sent us back what our target weight loss percent is and an excel spreadsheet chart that we can use to track our weight loss each week. Each Monday we report our weight loss to my dad and he sends the results to all of us so that we all know how everyone is doing.
I am not sure about brother 2 and 3, but brother 1, dad, and I are using the weight watchers (WW) program. I find that, for me, this provides the structure I need while allowing flexibility of food choices. I can follow this plan and not feel deprived or like I am dieting. Well, maybe it feels a little like dieting but not as bad as having to follow a plan where I am sent a processed meal to eat 3 times a day.
Not only do I have the support of my family and friends, I also have a few co-workers going to the WW meetings with me on our Monday lunch breaks. And a few others from work are trying to get healthy by following various programs. Needless to say, I am surrounded by encouragement and motivation!
So this first week, I lost 4.6 lbs. This is pretty typical for the first week. Your body goes into shock and you typically lose a lot the first week. Next week I am not as optimistic but as long as the number on the scale keeps getting smaller I will be happy!
In case anyone is wondering or concerned, my reasons for wanting to do this is simply to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I'm doing this for me; no one else.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Half Empty or Half Full?
Life is about perspective.
I think of the analogy of seeing the glass half empty or half full. It's the same glass, yet two people see it totally different. Optimists and Pessimists. I think that we all have an inclination to be positive or negative. I'm guessing that part of it is in your nature and part is learned. But either way, we have a tendency to see things in a positive light or a negative light.
And people think they can't change.
Let's talk about pessimists first. It's extremely draining to be around someone who always sees the negative side in every situation. Someone who jumps to worrying or the "but what-if such-and-such bad thing happens??" The person who always has a story to show how they are worse off or someone who discredits your bad day by telling you how they should get more sympathy than you. Annoying.
The fact is, it's extremely draining to be around perpetual pessimists. For me, if I don't find a way to phase that person out, I will most likely call them out at some point b/c I just can't handle it. Don't get me wrong, though... there is definitely times for complaining, legitimate reasons to worry, or one-up someone with your "I have it worse" story. But the truth of the matter is that no one likes being around someone who is constantly a buzz kill.
Now let's talk about optimists... they aren't always cheery to be around either. Just like someone who is constantly negative, it's also annoying to be around someone who is just too positive. I am sorry, but sometimes, you have to be like, yeah, your day/situation sucks and there is nothing good about that! If someone is always positive, it can come across as fake and not genuine at all.
I guess what I'm saying is we need balance. I like to think of myself as someone who doesn't see the glass half empty or half full (maybe the cup was just not the right size to being with?). I feel like I am a realist. I like to look at the situation and think of realistic outlooks. I will admit when something is super crappy but also try and see the positive in something, if there is a positive to been seen.
So, if you find that you are too optimistic or too pessimistic, there is hope for you. You can change! Like any other habit, it takes deliberate attempts to create the changes you want. If you constantly see the negative in things, try and think of one positive after you've caught yourself thinking negatively. And remember that just because you might have a "bigger better" story or you might have it worse off, realize that for the other person, they are having a moment where they need you to understand, not try and top it. If you are overly positive, try and see why someone is frustrated or not on cloud 9 with you. We can all use a little sympathy at times.
I am not sure why I blogged about this. I was actually intending on blogging about attitudes and how I find it annoying that people are rude to those closest to them when someone else makes them mad. I mean, be nice to your friends, even if you are feeling crabby. We can at least try and empathize and be someone to vent too! Or if you don't feel like talking, tell your friends you are having a bad day so we know not to take it personal! Ok, I will save that for another day :)
I think of the analogy of seeing the glass half empty or half full. It's the same glass, yet two people see it totally different. Optimists and Pessimists. I think that we all have an inclination to be positive or negative. I'm guessing that part of it is in your nature and part is learned. But either way, we have a tendency to see things in a positive light or a negative light.
And people think they can't change.
Let's talk about pessimists first. It's extremely draining to be around someone who always sees the negative side in every situation. Someone who jumps to worrying or the "but what-if such-and-such bad thing happens??" The person who always has a story to show how they are worse off or someone who discredits your bad day by telling you how they should get more sympathy than you. Annoying.
The fact is, it's extremely draining to be around perpetual pessimists. For me, if I don't find a way to phase that person out, I will most likely call them out at some point b/c I just can't handle it. Don't get me wrong, though... there is definitely times for complaining, legitimate reasons to worry, or one-up someone with your "I have it worse" story. But the truth of the matter is that no one likes being around someone who is constantly a buzz kill.
Now let's talk about optimists... they aren't always cheery to be around either. Just like someone who is constantly negative, it's also annoying to be around someone who is just too positive. I am sorry, but sometimes, you have to be like, yeah, your day/situation sucks and there is nothing good about that! If someone is always positive, it can come across as fake and not genuine at all.
I guess what I'm saying is we need balance. I like to think of myself as someone who doesn't see the glass half empty or half full (maybe the cup was just not the right size to being with?). I feel like I am a realist. I like to look at the situation and think of realistic outlooks. I will admit when something is super crappy but also try and see the positive in something, if there is a positive to been seen.
So, if you find that you are too optimistic or too pessimistic, there is hope for you. You can change! Like any other habit, it takes deliberate attempts to create the changes you want. If you constantly see the negative in things, try and think of one positive after you've caught yourself thinking negatively. And remember that just because you might have a "bigger better" story or you might have it worse off, realize that for the other person, they are having a moment where they need you to understand, not try and top it. If you are overly positive, try and see why someone is frustrated or not on cloud 9 with you. We can all use a little sympathy at times.
I am not sure why I blogged about this. I was actually intending on blogging about attitudes and how I find it annoying that people are rude to those closest to them when someone else makes them mad. I mean, be nice to your friends, even if you are feeling crabby. We can at least try and empathize and be someone to vent too! Or if you don't feel like talking, tell your friends you are having a bad day so we know not to take it personal! Ok, I will save that for another day :)
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Question for Pet Owners
If someone offered you $100,000 to give up your most beloved pet, would you make the trade?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
A Letter To the Vikings and Chargers
Dear Vikings and Chargers,
I just wanted to apologize for your losses this year in the playoffs... and every other year you've ever lost a playoff or Super Bowl game. Anytime a decedent of the Clark family likes a team, that team becomes cursed and will never win a Championship game.
Yet, because the Clark decedents are loyal people, we refuse to cheer for any other team above the Chargers and Vikings. Unfortunately, that means that you will never win a Championship game.
On the bright side, we are your most loyal fans! And we hope that little factoid brings at least a little ray of sunshine into your lives!
Signed,
Jessica (for the Clarks)
I just wanted to apologize for your losses this year in the playoffs... and every other year you've ever lost a playoff or Super Bowl game. Anytime a decedent of the Clark family likes a team, that team becomes cursed and will never win a Championship game.
Yet, because the Clark decedents are loyal people, we refuse to cheer for any other team above the Chargers and Vikings. Unfortunately, that means that you will never win a Championship game.
On the bright side, we are your most loyal fans! And we hope that little factoid brings at least a little ray of sunshine into your lives!
Signed,
Jessica (for the Clarks)
Monday, January 18, 2010
A Letter to the Chargers
Dear Chargers,
Oh how you continue to let your fans down... year after year. If only you knew how much your fans love you and count on you for a win when it mattered the most. Even though we know you will let us down, we still get our hopes up; keeping our fingers crossed, we think, "maybe this will be the year!?!" But, hark, it is never the year. Never. Ever.
Only a team like the Chargers can have a kicker with a 60+ successful kicking streak and then miss 3 kicks in a row during a play off game. Only the Chargers would kick a challenge flag, draw a 15 yard penalty, and negate the yards they just conquored. Only the Chargers would lose to a team like the Jets, THE JETS, when it really mattered.
We cheer for you week after week. We wear your shirts. We proudly display your bumper stickers on our cars. We even schedule our vacations around the possibility of your playing in the Super Bowl. And what do you give us in return? 14 points. A kicker with his head in the sand. A team with their head up their @sses.
You think you are great. You think your 11 game winning streak is impressive. Well, you're not and it isn't. What's impressive is a family who has been faithful to you for 40+ years and 3 generations (with a 4th generation who will also be faithful once they are old enough to know how to say "Chargers").
Even though you dangle carrots in front of us year after year before you rip it from our eye-sight, we are not going anywhere. No way. We are faithful. We will not let you down. We will continue to cheer you on. We will wear your colors proudly.
All we ask for in return is for a win when it matters. Just ONE win. But, if you can't pull off that one win, please, at the very least, play the game with your heads on straight rather than up your butts.
Sincerely,
Jessica (for all the Clarks)
Oh how you continue to let your fans down... year after year. If only you knew how much your fans love you and count on you for a win when it mattered the most. Even though we know you will let us down, we still get our hopes up; keeping our fingers crossed, we think, "maybe this will be the year!?!" But, hark, it is never the year. Never. Ever.
Only a team like the Chargers can have a kicker with a 60+ successful kicking streak and then miss 3 kicks in a row during a play off game. Only the Chargers would kick a challenge flag, draw a 15 yard penalty, and negate the yards they just conquored. Only the Chargers would lose to a team like the Jets, THE JETS, when it really mattered.
We cheer for you week after week. We wear your shirts. We proudly display your bumper stickers on our cars. We even schedule our vacations around the possibility of your playing in the Super Bowl. And what do you give us in return? 14 points. A kicker with his head in the sand. A team with their head up their @sses.
You think you are great. You think your 11 game winning streak is impressive. Well, you're not and it isn't. What's impressive is a family who has been faithful to you for 40+ years and 3 generations (with a 4th generation who will also be faithful once they are old enough to know how to say "Chargers").
Even though you dangle carrots in front of us year after year before you rip it from our eye-sight, we are not going anywhere. No way. We are faithful. We will not let you down. We will continue to cheer you on. We will wear your colors proudly.
All we ask for in return is for a win when it matters. Just ONE win. But, if you can't pull off that one win, please, at the very least, play the game with your heads on straight rather than up your butts.
Sincerely,
Jessica (for all the Clarks)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
'tis the season...
Ahhh... the joys of Christmas! Shopping, family, friends, baking, gifts, snow, entertaining, parties, decorations, food... and the list goes on. This time of year should be filled with joy and merriment, but often times, it's dreaded and many people wish it would pass quickly so they can get back to the normalcy of life.
Well, I have a few things about this "holiday season" that I'd like to address.
The first thing is shopping. Even if you didn't procrastinate on shopping for gifts, you probably still have a few last minute things you need to pick up: stocking stuffers, a gift for that last minute relative who decided to come to the family party, groceries, or a bottle of wine for the family member who is hosting you this year... either way, you most likely will be out, battling the crowds, before Christmas day arrives.
It's very easy to get frustrated with the crowds and madness. Everyone is taking up the aisles, people have grumpy looks on their faces and are huffing and puffing at people in their way, no one will move out of the way so you can lean over and grab the one item you came in for, someone cut you off and took the last parking spot that you've had your blinker on for and been waiting for as the previous occupier was backing out, the cashiers are grumpy because, well, they work retail, and shopping takes twice as long just because it's a very busy time of year.
Here is a tip to help you keep a smile on your face and a bounce in your step as you brave the crowds. Understand that there will be lots of people, be patient w/others and give yourself plenty of time. If you go to the store knowing and accepting that it's going to take a while and that there will be tons of people in your way, you will be less likely to be annoyed. Don't go shopping if you have some place to be in 20 minutes. You will just get irritated. Be the person in the aisle who lets someone else go by before you cut them off. Be willing to walk a little ways from the parking lot to the store (if you aren't worried about getting the closest spot that will reduce some stress). And smile at those around you. Who can't use a little Christmas cheer? =)
The next thing I would like to address is family, friend and work get-togethers. If shopping and gift buying wasn't stressful enough, just wait till you host 20 of your closest friends and family. If you've hosted before, you know that it's stressful. You have to make sure your house is clean, food is prepared, entertainment is provided, drinks are available, coordinate who's sleeping where if you are having people stay over night...
If you are hosting, let your guests know where they can find snacks during "non meal" times, get them their first drink and then tell them where they can help themselves for any additional drinks they might want, and even ask for help preparing meals, bringing part of the meal and with cleanup. Don't stress yourself out with making an elaborate meal. The whole point is for your family and friends to get together to celebrate Christmas. If you need to make some frozen pizzas so that everyone has time to visit, then make a pizza. Christmas is not about ham, homemade bread, and pie... it's about celebration. So don't let busyness get in your way.
If you are going to be a guest somewhere, you better be a gracious guest. Offer to bring something, offer to help once you arrive and don't even offer to do dishes... just start doing them after dinner. There is nothing more annoying than entertaining a bunch of guests who just sit around on their duffers while the host/ess does all the work. They are their to "host" not to be a waiter or waitress. And make sure that if you have kids that they are gracious guests, too. Kids learn how to say please and thank-you before they even have their first memory, so no excuses.
Oh and if you don't want to go somewhere, then don't go. Seriously, there is nothing worse than feeling obligated to go somewhere or obligated to invite certain people over. If you don't want to be there, it will show, and then you will just look like a scrooge.
Finally, I wanted to discuss the whole "Happy Holidays" versus "Merry Christmas" situation. Okay, here is the thing. If your intent is to tell someone that you hope they have a good day on December 25th, then you should say "Merry Christmas" as that is what the day is called!!! It's called Christmas Day. Christmas. I get that some people don't celebrate Christmas, and if you know that they don't, then it's absolutely fine (and expected) to say "Happy Holidays" instead of Merry Christmas. If your friend is Jewish, wish them a Happy Hanukkah.
But if you, in good faith, say Merry Christmas and the person doesn't celebrate Christmas then hopefully they will say something and you will know for next time. If someone were to wish me Happy Hanukkah, a holiday that I don't celebrate and one where the only thing I know about it is that there are 12 days of it and something about a candelabra, I certainly would not be offended. I would just be like, "Oh thanks, you too" and then move on with my life. I mean, if someone gets so offended by Merry Christmas that they lash out or get all bent out of shape, then frankly, I'm more amused than sorry that they take things so personally. I mean seriously people, stop being so easily offended. Unless someone is trying to offend you, just kindly tell them what they said offends you and hopefully they will respect that in the future.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying you wish a "Merry Christmas" to people who are clearly of another faith (sometimes you can tell by certain garments what religion someone belongs to, or sometimes you know b/c that person is a friend of yours). Know your audience. But I am pretty sure that most people will be pretty receptive to "Merry Christmas" and the only reason you hear people saying "Happy Holidays" is because they are afraid of offending someone and getting sued.
So anyway, the most important thing of all is to make sure you enjoy Christmas, New Year's Day and the events surrounding it. If you are stressed, find a way to relax. Ask for help if you feel overwhelmed. And remember the reason we celebrate Christmas!
*<<<-
Well, I have a few things about this "holiday season" that I'd like to address.
The first thing is shopping. Even if you didn't procrastinate on shopping for gifts, you probably still have a few last minute things you need to pick up: stocking stuffers, a gift for that last minute relative who decided to come to the family party, groceries, or a bottle of wine for the family member who is hosting you this year... either way, you most likely will be out, battling the crowds, before Christmas day arrives.
It's very easy to get frustrated with the crowds and madness. Everyone is taking up the aisles, people have grumpy looks on their faces and are huffing and puffing at people in their way, no one will move out of the way so you can lean over and grab the one item you came in for, someone cut you off and took the last parking spot that you've had your blinker on for and been waiting for as the previous occupier was backing out, the cashiers are grumpy because, well, they work retail, and shopping takes twice as long just because it's a very busy time of year.
Here is a tip to help you keep a smile on your face and a bounce in your step as you brave the crowds. Understand that there will be lots of people, be patient w/others and give yourself plenty of time. If you go to the store knowing and accepting that it's going to take a while and that there will be tons of people in your way, you will be less likely to be annoyed. Don't go shopping if you have some place to be in 20 minutes. You will just get irritated. Be the person in the aisle who lets someone else go by before you cut them off. Be willing to walk a little ways from the parking lot to the store (if you aren't worried about getting the closest spot that will reduce some stress). And smile at those around you. Who can't use a little Christmas cheer? =)
The next thing I would like to address is family, friend and work get-togethers. If shopping and gift buying wasn't stressful enough, just wait till you host 20 of your closest friends and family. If you've hosted before, you know that it's stressful. You have to make sure your house is clean, food is prepared, entertainment is provided, drinks are available, coordinate who's sleeping where if you are having people stay over night...
If you are hosting, let your guests know where they can find snacks during "non meal" times, get them their first drink and then tell them where they can help themselves for any additional drinks they might want, and even ask for help preparing meals, bringing part of the meal and with cleanup. Don't stress yourself out with making an elaborate meal. The whole point is for your family and friends to get together to celebrate Christmas. If you need to make some frozen pizzas so that everyone has time to visit, then make a pizza. Christmas is not about ham, homemade bread, and pie... it's about celebration. So don't let busyness get in your way.
If you are going to be a guest somewhere, you better be a gracious guest. Offer to bring something, offer to help once you arrive and don't even offer to do dishes... just start doing them after dinner. There is nothing more annoying than entertaining a bunch of guests who just sit around on their duffers while the host/ess does all the work. They are their to "host" not to be a waiter or waitress. And make sure that if you have kids that they are gracious guests, too. Kids learn how to say please and thank-you before they even have their first memory, so no excuses.
Oh and if you don't want to go somewhere, then don't go. Seriously, there is nothing worse than feeling obligated to go somewhere or obligated to invite certain people over. If you don't want to be there, it will show, and then you will just look like a scrooge.
Finally, I wanted to discuss the whole "Happy Holidays" versus "Merry Christmas" situation. Okay, here is the thing. If your intent is to tell someone that you hope they have a good day on December 25th, then you should say "Merry Christmas" as that is what the day is called!!! It's called Christmas Day. Christmas. I get that some people don't celebrate Christmas, and if you know that they don't, then it's absolutely fine (and expected) to say "Happy Holidays" instead of Merry Christmas. If your friend is Jewish, wish them a Happy Hanukkah.
But if you, in good faith, say Merry Christmas and the person doesn't celebrate Christmas then hopefully they will say something and you will know for next time. If someone were to wish me Happy Hanukkah, a holiday that I don't celebrate and one where the only thing I know about it is that there are 12 days of it and something about a candelabra, I certainly would not be offended. I would just be like, "Oh thanks, you too" and then move on with my life. I mean, if someone gets so offended by Merry Christmas that they lash out or get all bent out of shape, then frankly, I'm more amused than sorry that they take things so personally. I mean seriously people, stop being so easily offended. Unless someone is trying to offend you, just kindly tell them what they said offends you and hopefully they will respect that in the future.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying you wish a "Merry Christmas" to people who are clearly of another faith (sometimes you can tell by certain garments what religion someone belongs to, or sometimes you know b/c that person is a friend of yours). Know your audience. But I am pretty sure that most people will be pretty receptive to "Merry Christmas" and the only reason you hear people saying "Happy Holidays" is because they are afraid of offending someone and getting sued.
So anyway, the most important thing of all is to make sure you enjoy Christmas, New Year's Day and the events surrounding it. If you are stressed, find a way to relax. Ask for help if you feel overwhelmed. And remember the reason we celebrate Christmas!
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